That Damn Mail!!

Ritter was having his third coffee of the Monday as provided by his benevolent employers, Western Housing Trust. You could have instant or real, depending on how much time you had to make the stuff. Today, Ritter had treated himself to two danishes from Tesco as he was in early, to accompany his first coffee.

He definitely had kick-started his day, despite his woeful attempts to cut down on caffeine. Ah well, at least he was drinking more water than previously. The thing was, he thought was why the HELL had he sent Marian, the cute girl from Audit…By the way, why were so many female auditors so cute? This was the question that Ritter, Wayne and McKendrick mused often over chilled beverages on Friday nights.. Anyway, why the HELL had he sent that email declaring undying love? Well, what he HAD sent was scarily close, anyway.

Last Friday night had started so well; Johnson from Development had had that retirement night out and a lot of staff had come. It was at the Happy Cask and pretty good food had also been laid on. Ritter had played it safe for a while and stuck to Czech lager, until McKendrick had suggested they also try a few single malts. Well, you had to be sociable, didn’t you? After a while there was a nice gregarious group of Ritter’s Housing chums and that bunch from audit, including herself and soon they were talking on their own. His friends and colleagues were sensitive enough to give them a little space, but he wouldn’t be surprised if a little ribbing was going on, too.

Anyway, sod it, she was intelligent, seemed to find his jokes funny and was very foxy. Everyone was getting decidedly mellow and even when they went over to the buffet table, she was still talking with him and seemed interested. Finally, the evening was coming to an end and it seemed like she was about to say something and it seemed like he was about to say something but neither one did and this weird moment sort of hung in the air and she just smiled and said, “well, see ya” and he just said “yeah sure” and they sort of waved and he felt like the dumbest son of a bitch to walk on this earth, I’m telling you.

“God this romantic stuff is really angst ridden, isn’t it”? he said to Wayne over at McKendrick’s forty five minutes after that unhappening scene, while McKendrick was getting more cool ones from the fridge. “Give it time, my boy” Wayne said to him in the quite amusing Jewish accent he used when he wanted to sound wise yet laid back.

It was all very well for them; Wayne was going to marry his fiance next year and Mckendrick’s girlfriend was out with her pals at a hen night.

“Look” said Mckendrick. “I’ve got email access to work ‘cos of that project. Why not email her right now and she’ll have a neat little surprise from you Monday am.” “Crackin’ idea!” Ritter spouted, with sudden enthusiasm. Wayne looked a little concerned. “Do ya think…” “Chill OUT” said Mckendrick. “Don’t get in the way of true love.” “Think I’ll take a leak and let you romantics fire ahead” said Wayne.

Anyway, that’d been it. It wasn’t until Saturday morning that the truth of the matter dawned on Ritter. The sad thing was, it’s really what he felt about her, only it was worded with the enthusiasm that it seems only copious beverages can provide, never mind McKendrick’s misplaced eagerness.

At least he was past the why why why why why why why why why why why why the HELL stage followed by Oh God oh God oh God Oh God oh God oh God Oh God oh God oh God which at a certain point sounded like a mantra or something.

Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Ok, so anyway Ritter just finished sending some of the supported housing projects the Monday morning spreadsheet with the data they’d have to complete when PING! Holy shit, she’d just sent him a mail back.

Oh – my – God.

David C. Flynn 26th Feb 2008


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